In March of 2021, I relocated to current area I am in now. I did so for the sake of my aged parents. They both was in need of full time care. I don't regret that decision not one bit. I would do it all over again, even in knowing how it would affect me afterwards.
In order to make this happen, I had to walk away from everything that I did have, which wasn't much, I know. But, it was still mine, and I left it all.
I am not the only one who has made some sort of sacrifices. When this all started, my sister was the one who was down here every chance she could. That has not gone unnoticed. She also has the type of job, that allows her to do most of her work from a computer from wherever she is at a given time, as long as she can log in. It was the on-site work that she got behind on. The things she had to be on location to do. While it was an inconvince to have to play catch up to get caught up, it was still doable.
My work did not allow me that same luxury. If I wanted to get payed, I had to be on location. And I did that for as long as I could, right up until I realized that I was being payed to provide a service that my own parents was now in need of. I couldn't continue doing it. Once I made the decision it was done. I came down here, really with the hope in mind, that it wasn't long term. That I would be here just long enough to help get them through the rough patch they was going through and I would return life as it was. That was not the case. It was for the long haul, I didn't return, I left it all behind.
I'm not putting this out here to Shine a light on myself or to say, look how good I am, rather to raise awareness to the situation that I'm now in due to the sacrifice that I made.
In 2023, 2 and a half years of being here, My dad went home to be with the LORD. We all knew that was happening. there was no stopping it. There were also other family members around, which made a difficult time a little bit easier. My mom was a different story, and it affected me on a different level that I didn't see coming.
On Augest 26, 2024 I called an ambulance for her. She's alert but was having a hard time breathing. I grab some needed things from the house, and arrive at the hospital soon after. Take care of the business of getting her registered and go back to see her. You can tell she is not feeling well, but alert and talking, concerned about me cause I had not eaten yet. She kept after me to go get something to eat. I told her that I would, as soon as we knew something, which I did.
Got a diagnosis of pneumonia, and that they was going to admit her. Before leaving the hospital, I stopped at the desk to see if they had a room number yet, so I would know where to go if they moved her while I was gone. They did have one assigned, and she did get moved while I was gone. Upon locating where she was at, the nurse meets me in the hall to let me know that in addition to the pneumonia, she had sepsis. The very next question out of my mouth was, "do I need to start calling family?" She assured me that it hadn't reached that point. They caught it early enough, and with a 4 to 5 Day IV antibiotic treatment, I would be taking her home with me.
She finishes updating me as to where we are at presently, takes me back to see her. Alert and talking. Asked me where I went to eat. I tell her, Toco Bell. She laughs and says, "how'd I now that." I spend a while with her, and can tell she is getting tired, knowing she would not go to sleep while I was there, I say, "I'm gonna go and let you get some rest." Laughinly, she say, "I'm in a hospital! You can't rest in a hospital." I say, "well your right there", as I lean over to kiss her good night.
I left the hospital, got back to the car, while still in the lot, called my sister to get her updated on the latest news. I told her of all that I observed with our mother, that, while it was true that she wasn't feeling well, there was no signs. No indication that death was less then 24 hours away. We finished our conversation, I came back home. Called the hospital to do one more check, just to put my mind at ease, at least, a little bit. I managed to get a little sleep, but most of the night was restless.
The next morning,the 27th of August. My birthday. The first thing I did was call the hospital to get an update on mom. She cat napped through the night, vitals was starting to stableize. Things are looking good. Once that call is ended, I call my sister, or maybe she calls me. I don't really remember who called who. I told her that I just got off the phone with the nurse, and proceeded to give her the information I had got. She tells me that she had recently called, and they told her the same thing, so, no change. As I'm preparing to leave to go to see mom, another text come in. My aunt, asking for a update. I tell her, and let her know that I was on my way out the door to go see her. I arrived at the hospital at around 10:00 AM. The first thing I see when I look in the room is mom pushing her breakfast tray away, with the nurse in there encouraging her to take just a couple of bites. She did try one, but couldn't do it, and proceed to push the tray away. She then looks up, sees me. The biggest most beautiful smile comes across her face, as she said in a weak voice " Hello baby. Happy birthday." Then proceeds to tell the nurse that I was her daughter, and today was my birthday. I smile and say, " I think she knows today is my birthday. She was standing right there when you said, happy birthday. All 3 of us got a laughter from that comment.
We visited for a while, and things were going, not the best, but not the worst either.
The nurse came in and asked if she had never been diagnosed with congested heart. I said the only thing that I could recall was 1 accute attack from several years ago. She said, now she has the diagnosis., and she handed the patient copy of how to live with icongested heart. I was a bit confused by her giving me that when she did, but didn't think anymore about it.
A short time later, the doctor came in and explained a treatment they wanted to try, and why. Mom was still alert and talking, and was part of the decision. She asked me what I thought, I just said, the ultimate decision is yours, but if the outlook is not that bright to begin with, and this gives a possible better outcome, I would say go for it. She agreed. Looking back on it now, I don't understand what the hurry was that the decision had to be made, right now!
I have no clue what would have happened if we would have declined the treatment, but I do know that by accepting the treatment, it was fatal.
After getting the ok, they left the room. The doctor entered the order's into the computer, and the nurse went to get the treatment and prepare it to be infused into my mom.
I can't really don't remember if they had started the treatment or not when what happened next happened. She asked me to get someone to help her, as she did have a small little bed sore that she was laying on. She wanted to change the position of how she was laying, and did need help with that. Not wanting to take away all her self respect, I stepped out of the room to give her some privacy. At this point, her breathing was a little labored, but no more then in times past. Nothing that a breathing treatment wouldn't fix. Only it didn't fix it this time.
They gave her the first treatment. It didn't help. They gave her a second treatment. That did nothing either.They tried for a third time. Still nothing. When that didn't work, they brought in either a bipap or c-pap machine. For those who don't know, it's like a non invasive ventilator.
This woman went from labored breathing, to gasping for air in the blink of an eye. I'm there watching this happen, but it really wasn't registering what was happening. During all of this, I noticed the nurse bring in another infusion treatment. I watched as she replaced the empty bag with another one. They had already put the c-pap on her. She was fighting, trying to get it off. I watched as my dad fought his as well. It must be suffocating is all I can thinking having seen 2 people do the same thing.
My sister is in route to the hospital, but still about 4 hours away. She's not going to get here in time. So we do a video call. I put the phone up close to mom, by this time, mom had done slipped into a coma, and they still had that stupid c-pap mask on her. The alarms on the moniters was going off. Slowing heart rate, o2 stats dropping. I asked my sister if she wanted to stay connected until what we knew was going to happen, happened. She said no, that she would continue heading our way. Four minutes later, I called her back to tell her that mom was gone. That was about 3:15pm
I went from hearing, "happy birthday my baby, approximately 10:00am, to watching her draw her last breath of life a little after 3:00pm. Yes. It shocked me! I think that it would shocked anyone. I've had a hard time getting moving again. I just recently started talking about it. 3 months had passed before I even admitted just how much of a trama it actually was. And now I'm to the point where what little money she had stored back is gone, no job, and even if I got a job, I'm about ready to loose my way of getting there, since I had no choice but to default on the car loan.
And if that wasn't enough, 1 month to the day of my mom going to the hospital by ambulance. Tropical storm (just barely) Halene comes packing a punch to the area. Not the hardest hit by no means, but still destructive. All I could think of was, I'm glad it came in when it did. My mom would not have been able to stay here. 10 days without electricity. A piece that had to be replaced had to be flown in be helicopter, and of course weather condition had to be favorable. There was a few times, I had to go in town for fast food. The first day, I went to burger King, and I must say, it was so good. 2nd day, I figured I'd eat there again, only, they had closed because they ran out of food, and the delivery truck got delayed due to road conditions.
I'm getting off track here. I guess what hurts more then anything now is, while I have gotten help from extended family, and some friends, there wasn't enough involvement to really make a lot of difference in the financial situation. The one's that was helped the most, other than my parents, has done the least. That is hard to admit.
I just need a significant hand up. I'm not asking for a rest of my life free ride.
I guess I'm just hoping that my story will be seen by people who could, and would be happy to help me out, and maybe even be the one who turns it all around for me.
No comments:
Post a Comment